Voices from Jukai

Voices rise all around as we segue through the kitchen, fill plates from the sumptuous potluck and convene in the lush back garden. Rich conversations in multiple languages sing through the growing afternoon.

Our new Dharma siblings, who’ve crossed the threshold to first lay ordination, have happily assented to open their hearts, observations, reflections as follows:

Ericka Yushin:

First, deep bows of gratitude to Shinzan, Jisen, and Mike Daiko, and Shoryu for welcoming me into this beautiful community. I felt incredibly held and supported stepping into the OG space with the sangha. You are beautiful, loving, and kind beings. I cherished our celebration and the wonderful conversations we had.

Second, receiving Jukai has been a long time coming for me. My monkey mind had me spinning around many unhelpful thoughts and stories: am I really Buddhist, am I ready, will I be able to hold the precepts, will I be able to sew a rakusu, blah blah blah. I wanted so much to get it right and for it and me to be “perfect.”

And of course, it was not. Stepping into OG on that beautiful, very warm sunny California day I was hot, sweaty, jet lagged and sleepy. I had not practiced the ceremony with my dharma sibings and made some minor mistakes. I was falling asleep during our sits, and, it was exactly as it should have been. My name Yushin, was exactly the call I needed to hear from my teacher. While I consider myself someone who fiercely speaks truth to power in my professional roles, speaking/listening to, and facing my truths and my shadows is an ongoing challenge that I am learning to embrace with the aspiration of my name.

Lastly, I have definitely not followed the precepts perfectly; I am still understanding how to apply them in my life and work with the ingredients of my life. With each breath and each return to my seat, I know I am cultivating the courage to see thing as they are, to meet myself and others as we are, and to keep moving forward with compassion, clarity, and intentionality.

 Wholeheartedly and with humility,

Yushin

Jeremy Jakuzan:

In all honesty, I began Jukai a bit hesitantly, even reluctantly, but with sincere interest and curiosity. Then I immediately ran into a brick wall of rakusu making. Sewing a rakusu is hard. Literally every time I even thought about getting out the fabric, thread, needle, rulers, chalk, and bewildering instructions I’d think, nope, no way, this isn’t for me, I quit.

When I wear the finished rakusu now, I feel accomplished, proud, and utterly confused that it somehow got completed. In reality, the only thing that kept me working on it was encouragement from my partner.

 That same encouragement was there from the entire sangha, of course, but I don’t think I could really tune in on it until the actual Jukai ceremony, which was a far more profound experience than I’d anticipated. During that entire afternoon, I really felt, deeply, the love and inspiration and load bearing commitment that every member of the sangha embodies.

I can still hear Shinzan’s teasing, mock-skeptical voice asking the four of us about our commitment to the precepts: ‘Are you really gonna maintain them”? one thing is clear; if I have any hope of doing that, it will be a group effort.

Thank you all; it’s a beautiful privilege to practice with you at OG.

With a full bow,

Jakuzan

Jen Myozen:

I don’t know if I’ll get in trouble for this but I sewed Meatball fur into my rakusu. Jeremy’s too. Meatball, our little soul dog, was an unexpected gift in my life, and the Jukai ceremony was, too. When I signed up for the class, all I knew was that we would learn about the precepts, sew an absolutely baffling piece of cloth with  a dainty green twig on the neck, and at the end of it there would be a celebration.

 There were quite a few times I wanted to throw my rakusu into the sea, but with Shinzan’s help, I came to appreciate and even enjoy the tranquility of sewing. The most challenging part of the precepts class for me was wrestling with the women’s lineage chart. The first one I created felt incomplete, because had it not been for all of the women on that chart, I would not be writing this reflection today. I was filled with joy to find that a practitioner from Upaya had created a beautiful design and made it available for public use. A heartfelt thank you to Melissa White (Nenshin) for sharing this design with the Zen community. With the completion of a women’s lineage chart that reflected the courage and dedication of the dharma sisters who made this path possible for me, I felt ready for Jukai.

 And then the ceremony was upon us. I was surprised again and again that day, by the intention and care Shinzan and the sangha took in creating such a meaningful ceremony for us. By the love and warmth I felt before we walked into the zendo when Shinzan told us, “Don’t worry about anyone else; just stay in the dharma field with me.” By the empathetic joy on the faces and in the hearts of everyone at OG who literally showered us with rose petals at the end.

On this day, I truly understood the meaning of sangha. I felt, on a molecular level, that while this is not an easy path to pursue, we are incredibly fortunate to have such kind and loving souls walking (and sitting!) beside us.

 In deep gratitude for the OG Sangha,

Myozen